when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
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