He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
