somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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