I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
