it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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