CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
