just come out here and I will go home with you...
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
