so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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