There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
