Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
In other news, I just burned my penis
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
