THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
