I skipped work to stalk him.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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