hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
love makes seman taste better
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
