We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
