new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
