Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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