Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
