im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
