I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
