My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
