He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
