So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
