I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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