He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Randomize
