I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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