just come out here and I will go home with you...
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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