Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
