i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
