nut hugger
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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