You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
