sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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