is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
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