Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
