I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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