You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
