remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
