i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Randomize
