That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
