Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
