sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Just invented taco cereal.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
