You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
