i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
