Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize