Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Randomize
