Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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