Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I faked an abortion last night.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
