i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I will be naked everywhere
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Randomize
