I just made out with a guy for $7.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
