Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
