can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Randomize